What is free use?

The meaning of free use

At its simplest, free use is standing consent. Instead of asking "do you want to?" each time, the person who is "on" has already said yes, for a set stretch of time and a set list of things. During that window, their partner can start whenever the mood strikes: in the kitchen, on the sofa, the moment they walk in the door.

Three things make it free use rather than just a lot of sex:

• The yes comes first. It's agreed beforehand, calmly and sober, not in the heat of the moment.
• It has edges. A window (an evening, a weekend), a list of what's included, and times it's off.
• "Not now" always works. A word or a signal ends it on the spot, with no sulking and no penalty.

The person who's "on" is sometimes called the free use partner, the free use wife or girlfriend, or just "in use". The person who reaches for them is the user. Any gender can be either, and plenty of couples take turns.

Why the free use fantasy is so hot

Free use is one of the most searched-for fantasies around, and it isn't hard to see why. It hands each person something they rarely get in everyday life:

• Being wanted, constantly. For the person who's on, being reached for in the middle of an ordinary afternoon is proof of desire that a scheduled date night can't match.
• Nothing to decide. No initiating, no reading the room, no worrying whether it's the right moment. Someone else holds all of that.
• Freedom to act. For the user, the thrill is never having to ask: the answer is already yes.
• Power, without a script. It's a form of power exchange that slots into ordinary life, rather than a scene with a start and an end.

In fiction, the fantasy often goes further: surprise, being shared with friends, being "on" for a whole room at a party. That's what fiction is for. The books and stories here play with all of it, and every character is an adult who has agreed, even when the story keeps that offstage.

Looking for scenarios? Browse free use fantasy ideas, from playful to intense.

Free use relationships: how it works for real

Couples who try free use usually start small: one evening, kissing and touching, with a token (a bracelet, a ribbon) that means "on" while it's worn and "not now" the moment it comes off. If that feels good, the window grows. A weekend. A ready position. Orgasm control across the whole window. For some, a third person, or a party with friends.

Whatever the size, the same few rules keep it a turn-on rather than a problem:

• A list. Who may use whom, and for what. At a party, free use means free use by the people on your list, not by anyone in the room.
• An opt-out that always works. A safeword, three taps, a token off. Using it is never punished or questioned.
• Awake and sober. Never anyone asleep, drunk or high. They can't say "not now", so they don't take part.
• Private. Never in front of anyone who hasn't agreed, and never anywhere the public could see.
• A proper close. Take the token back, say thank you, and talk about what worked.

Kinky Thinking's guide to doing free use safely goes through setting it up step by step. When you're ready to plan a window or a whole party, the Party Planner builds the rules, the list and the plan for you.

What about the sleep fantasy?

Being woken up, or used while asleep, is a common thread in free use fiction. In real life it's the one version that can't work: someone who is asleep can't use the opt-out, and laws on consent and sleep vary. Couples who love the idea keep it in fiction, or close the window overnight and reopen it once they're both awake.

Free use in fiction

Free use erotica lets the fantasy run without the logistics. The books here include a wife-sharing novel where a game night changes the rules, a story about being offered at a negotiated party, and a sapphic BDSM series set in a private members' club. Every book has a free chapter, and the free use stories are free to read online.