Free Use PartyFree · private · 18+
Party Planner
Turn the fantasy into a plan. From a free use weekend for two to a hosted party with a room full of people, tell the planner who's involved, how far you want to go and what's off the table. You get the house rules, the list of who may use whom, an opening ritual, the moments or the party's timeline, and a proper close with aftercare. Change any step, then share, copy or print it for everyone taking part.
It runs in your browser: nothing you type is sent to us. New to free use? Start with Kinky Thinking's free use guide.
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From fantasy to real life
In the books, the yes is already there when the scene starts (that's the free use fantasy). What the books skip is how it got there: the conversation, the list and the signals. That's the part that makes it work for real.
- The list. Each person who's on writes down who may use them and for what, sober, ideally days before. Nothing off the list happens, and nobody off the list joins in.
- The opt-out. A safeword, three taps, and a visible "not now" (a token off, a red band). It always works, and using it is never punished. That's what lets people go further.
- Awake and sober. Never anyone asleep, drunk or high. They can't use the opt-out, so they don't take part.
- Private. Home, a rented private venue, or a kink club. Never in front of anyone who hasn't agreed, and never anywhere the public could see: indecent exposure laws can apply even if nobody looks.
- The close. Take the token back, say thank you, and look after each other. Check in the next day too.
Kinky Thinking's negotiation checklist and aftercare plan help with the conversation before and after.
Hosting a free use party or kink party
A free use party is a kink party (or play party) with more moving parts. Before the day, every person who'll be on fills in their list and every guest knows the house rules. On the day:
- A party monitor stays sober, doesn't play, can stop any scene, and checks on everyone who's on at least once an hour.
- Signals at a glance: green wristband for on, yellow for ask first, red for not now. Or a token, or a board by the door.
- A briefing at the door, with the rules read aloud before anyone plays, and the lists read out so users know whose list they're on.
- Safer sex as a house rule, with condoms, dams and lube set out in every room.
- A quiet room for breaks and aftercare, with water, food and blankets, and a "who checks on whom tomorrow" list.
Adding people for the first time? Read Kinky Thinking on how to have a threesome and swinging for beginners.
Looking for a starting point? Browse free use fantasy ideas, or warm up with a round of Dirty Truth or Dare. Want the fantasy version first? The books and free chapters are where this all comes from.
Questions
How do you host a free use party?
Invite people who already know what they want, and get each person who will be "on" to write their list ahead of time, sober: who may use them, and for what. On the night, name a party monitor who stays sober and does not play, hand out signals (wristbands or tokens) so anyone can say "not now" at a glance, read the house rules aloud before anything starts, and set up a quiet room for breaks and aftercare. The planner above builds the timeline and prints the house rules and the list for you.
How does consent work at a free use party?
Consent is specific and given in advance. Each person who is on agrees, sober and beforehand, to named people for named activities. "Free use" at a party means free use by the people on your list, not by anyone in the room. On top of that, an opt-out always works: a safeword, three taps, or switching your signal to red. Using it is never punished or questioned, and lists can shrink on the night but never grow.
What does free use mean for a couple?
For a couple, free use is an agreed window (an evening, a day, a weekend) when one partner can start sex or play whenever they like, from an agreed list, without asking each time. The partner who is on can say "not now" at any moment with an agreed signal, and that is always respected. You set it up together, sober, beforehand, and talk it over afterwards.
What about the sleep fantasy?
It stays in the books. Someone who is asleep cannot use the opt-out, so the planner never includes it, and every plan longer than an evening closes the window overnight. The window reopens in the morning once the person who is on is awake and has said good morning. The same goes for anyone drunk or high: they do not take part.
Is anything I type sent anywhere?
No. The planner runs in your browser and nothing is sent to us. Your answers are saved on this device only. If you share a plan, it travels inside the link itself (including any names you typed), so send it only to the people taking part, or switch on "No names" first.